Baah, Humbug
by Blaidd Du
Summary: Leah's full of Christmas cheer as usual.  Can a certain wolf convince her to join in the season of good will ?  WARNING: Rated for Leah's vitriolic venting & cussing !


**Disclaimer:** All you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Anything else is just the product of my warped imagination. If they were mine, Jacob and Leah _would_ be together. James _wouldn't_ have lost his head and would have chowed down on Bella without interruption and the Demon Spawn definitely _wouldn't _exist !

_**XXXXXXXXX**_

**"Baah, Humbug ..."**

_**Leah's pov:**__  
><em>  
>Goddamn Christmas ! Why does everyone go totally mad this time of year ? It's like all they can think of is love and sex ... And surprise, surprise none of that's heading my way.<p>

Just 'cause I'm a bitter harpy, it doesn't mean I'm a bad person. Right ? I deserve to be loved like the next man, woman, wolf or, ugh, god forbid ... vamp. I'm a good person at heart. I may not show it, but I _have _feelings ... Needs ..._ I_ care ... _I_ want to love. Feel loved. Be loved. Hell ! Is that too much to ask ?

Man ! I hate Christmas. For some weird reason, there's freaking mistletoe everywhere I look ... and nine times out of ten, there's a daft fool liplocked with another idiot beneath it. An idiot who clearly isn't me. Then there's all this "good will to all men" crap. When's anyone going to show me some "good will," huh ? Who's going to hold me ? Kiss me ? Love me ? No one. Nobody, 'cause the Pack bitch isn't worthy of it ... and that depresses the hell out of me.

Everywhere I turn, I keep seeing them all. Family. "Friends." Pack members and their damn imprints. So happy. Full of joy, laughter and love. And secretly ? I envy them. I yearn for what they have. What I'll _never_ have ...

Fuck ! You'd've thought by now I'd quit tormenting myself and learned to stay away from all this crap. I honestly wish I could. I really do. But I can't. Believe me, I've tried. So many times. Yet I can't. 'Cause deep down, I'm just like everyone else. I want someone to care for. Someone who wants me ... needs me ... and more than anything, loves me. Yet fate's always conspiring against me. Persistently shafting me at every given opportunity. I mean, I wasn't always like this. I used to be popular. Happy. Fun-loving. Carefree. Respected. And above all, loved.

Until fate decided to screw me over. Big time.

Thanks to being a complete freak of nature - the only known she-wolf - I lost everything. Everything that was important ... that genuinely meant something to me. So yeah, you could say I'm entitled to be bitter, twisted and mad, despite what all those moronic idiots known as my Pack brothers say or think. I've had to become a bitch to protect myself. It's self-defence in a way ... 'cause I can never risk myself getting hurt like that again, even if it means I'm destined to be lonely and unhappy for the rest of my life.

But just 'cause I'm a bitch, it doesn't mean I like or want to be one. What I'd like ... what I want ... what I wish and crave for more than anything, is a chance to be happy. No matter how slight or for how brief a time it would be ... But I know, as sure as hell, it'll never happen, 'cause if there's one thing fate absolutely loves to do ... it's to make damn sure I'm kept in a permanent state of misery. So, the idea of me ever being happy is just a dream ... a flight of fancy. Nothing more. Nothing less ...

_**XXXXX**_

"Hey, Leah !"

Jacob's standing in front of me. Tall, strong and handsome. And he's smiling. Shyly and warmly. He looks up then suddenly, kisses me. Softly. Sweetly. Lingeringly. It's a kiss full of tenderness which succeeds in warming up my frozen heart.

Jacob whispers, "Happy Christmas, Clearwater ..."

I look up and see the mistletoe and grin as I'm struck by a thought. I can't help it. Another daft couple caught up in the moment and for once, one of them happens to be me ! As Jacob's arms slip around me and his forehead comes to rest against mine, my grin inevitably turns into a smile as I realize that the person responsible for igniting this rare spark of happiness within me, is the one who's always been the biggest pain in my butt.

So, thanks to Jacob, maybe this _won't _be such a bad Christmas, after all ...

**Finis**


End file.
